Sunday, May 02, 2004


Today's Recipe is for Ukrainian Toilet Paper.


75 parts sawdust (wood chips maybe used as a substitute.)
25 parts unadulterated saliva (no trace particles of sugars or other adhesive materials)

Heat saliva to boil. Stir in sawdust and mix for 10 minutes. Roll out paper-thin sheet and trim to 4 inch width.


You will know if you have managed to successfully recreate the Ukraine version when it contains the softness of no. 8 sandpaper and the tensile strength of ash.

An especially happy friend points out that it isn't rough, it is exfoliating!

OK, today's lesson is over. Yesterday was May Day. The day when the workers celebrate. Lots of vodka and Beer. Evidently the Power Company was celebrating as well because the power in the majority of the city went out at about 7 pm. And was out til the next afternoon.

Before the blackout, I went with my Ukrainian friend Natasha to Kiev. We went to a large outdoor market and I bought some dvds. They are $5 each and good quality. I guess that will be my source for movies for a while.

From there we went to an amusement park on the Knipr river and had shashlik. Shashlik is the traditional Russian barbeque. And it is amazing. We ate beef, salad and shared a liter of beer. I was so amazed and happy with this new taste sensation
that Natasha mistook my expressions of ecstasy for pain.

After about 10 minutes of discussing the full range of possible American facial expressions, we walked to the river and rented a paddle boat. I was surprised that they allow anybody and everybody take these things out on this river. It isn't the Mississippi but it has the currents and whirlpools that I always associated with that river. Falling in would probably be a real, real, real bad thing. But with a lot of grit and the power of Shashlik we managed to stay dry and forge our way back up-river before the sun set.

I went to some public toilets in the park and can report that, according to the graffitti, they are just as popular for socializing as the US.

Tomorrow I am going to ask to be seen by the medical staff at PC. My arm is still hurting from a fall of about 1 1/2 weeks ago. It doesn't seem to be getting any better and I have no strength in it right now. I thought it was only bruised but
I'm wondering if I didn't cut something.

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